My Wife is an Ambien Girl

Let’s start this out with a little background. My wife has had trouble sleeping for a few years now. She tried Lunesta and it didn’t really work for her. We’d heard about the side-effects of Ambien but decided to give it a try. Also, I should mention that she’s kind of a small woman, so medicines and alcohol are both quick to take effect in her bloodstream.

A couple of other things, this content is not suitable for children or those that might be easily offended by my frank discussions of sex, language, or things of that nature.

Also, we have a wonderful marriage, and yes, she knows I’m posting this. I can’t really discuss this with my friends, family, co-workers, etc. So I’m putting it out here anonymously, to have some outlet for these comments.

There’s lots of funny and interesting stuff here. Enjoy…

Cirque Du Soleil

So, we were laying in the bed talking, right after she had taken an Ambien. She was very fascinated by the ceiling fan. Somehow, in her Ambien induced state of altered awareness, it turned into a guy on a tightrope. She’s laying beside me describing all of this in vivid detail, asking me if I see it, and somehow bewildered that I didn’t.

Sometimes to humor her, or just to move the conversation along, or just to be able to get the hell out of the conversation, I will tell her that I see what she’s seeing, or that I understand what it is that she’s saying. Most of the time I don’t even have any idea what she might me talking about, because most of what she says is downright insane. We’ve had conversations about other people being in the room, people watching us have sex, watching others have sex, threesomes, Disney characters, and the one from tonight: Cirque Du Soliel.

She tells me that the the guy ‘up there’ near the ceiling fan is walking a tightrope and doing other acrobatic things like Cirque Du Soliel. She then proceeds to tell me to go login to TicketMaster and order tickets to their upcoming show. Of course there is no upcoming show, because if there was I’d already know about it (I’m a big fan). I told her no, which of course happened to eb the wrong thing to say this particular night. So, I humored her, I sat down at the computer and looked for Cirque Du Soliel, to no avail. So, I had a choice, and I made the right one. I could have told her I couldn’t find it, which would have resulted in her getting up and trying to find it herself, which would have the further result of her ordering tickets to god knows what is some city 1500 miles from here, and I really don’t want to drive 1500 miles to see Snoopy On Ice. So, I told her it was sold out. To which she replied “ok”, and went right to sleep.

Sweet dreams, sweetie.

Get A Rope

So, I have a bundle of rope in my closet, that is there from when I cut some short strips to use as a magic trick for the birthday party of a child of a friend of mine.

Last night, during foreplay, she told me to ‘get the rope’ and ‘tie me up’. Now here’s something new and exciting, something we’ve certainly never done before. I know that she really wouldn’t like it if i did that when she was not on the Ambien, so I was a little worried about what she’d do or say when I told her about it. Anyway, so I got the rope and tied one wrist in a slip-knot and put her hands behind her and wrapped the rope around her other wrist. I didn’t even tie it. You would have thought she was tied up tightly. I’m sure to her she was. Anyway she dropped to her knees and began to suck my dick with very little balance and no ability to hold herself up or touch me with her hands. Usually there’s some stroking involved along with the blowjob, but not last night. It was full on mouth fucking, hard and fast. She took my hard cock as deep as she ever has. It was truly a great blowjob.

After that I helped her onto the bed and fucked her doggy-style with her hands behind her back. Her face was in the pillow as I fucked her. Again she asked me to fuck her in the ass (this is becoming a regular request). I don’t know where that even comes from, as it’s really painful for her when we’ve tried. I’m too big for her tight little ass. It is a great feeling for me, but not so much for her.

What’s That in My Hair

Last night we were fooling around, and she got into that ‘hanging her head off the bed’ position. I was leaned over her massaging and touching her, and my crotch was off to one side of her head. She suddenly said ‘what’s that in my hair?’ It was my hard penis.

Again with the Yoga Ball

Tonight we were talking about crazy Ambien stuff, and she was watching some videos on youtube. By the end of the last 3 minute video, she was gone. She had taken the ambien right before finding that one video. It really kicks in fast. She needed help getting to the bed, and we stopped halfway so she could kiss me. In the middle of kissing, she said she wanted to sit down, and I tried to get her to sit on the edge of the bed. She said “no, I want to sit over there” pointing (well gesturing, pointing would have required more fine motor skills) toward the yoga ball. I protested, she insisted, so I rolled it halfway and she stumbled the rest of the way to the ball and took a seat.

At this point she sat there and asked me to kiss her again, at which time she began bouncing, rocking, and leaning back. I tried to help her sit up, she wanted to lay down. So I tried to hold onto her. I asked her if she was ok, she said “yes, they’re holding me up”. Of course there was no one else in the room. “They” are her impressions of people, she thinks are there. I think they’re just blurs in the dark and she thinks they’re alive.

She leaned way back and asked me to perform oral sex on her, so I did. She was really into it, until she fell on the floor, because “they” weren’t holding her up anymore. I guess “they” wanted to give us some privacy. She proceeded to perform oral sex on me, and then abruptly stopped and asked “whose dick is in my mouth?”. I assured her that I was STILL the only one in the room with her and it was me. I then (amidst the laughter) got her into bed. We had sex a couple of times before we went to sleep.

I should mention here that we’re not swingers or even anything that would remotely resemble that lifestyle. We don’t have other people in our bedroom, never have, never will, this is just her ambien craziness talking. It’s very amusing to me…

Fuck Me In The ASS!!!!

Her mother has been visiting for a couple of weeks now, and the late night Ambien adventures have been a little quieter, until tonight. We were doing it doggy-style, going at it pretty hard, and she says to me “Fuck me in the ass”, to which I replied “what?”.

I was greatly surprised by this statement, as this is not something we do.

I told her I wasn’t going to do that, she said it louder “Fuck Me In The Ass!”. I was a little bit tickled at this point, because she said it a little louder than I would have expected, considering her mother was in the house. I reminded her of that, since she’d obviously had a lapse in memory and/or judgement at this point. Any my sweet wife responded just as I should have expected, at the top of her lungs, “FUCK ME IN THE ASS AND DO IT NOW!!!”.

Of course I just completely lost it, laughing hysterically, and she just got mote than a little aggravated with me. I calmed her down and turned her over and proceeded to go down on her, mostly because I wasn’t hard anymore and it would distract her. After a couple of minutes she was back in the mood, pulling me towards her and then she said “you’re so hard, please fuck me in the ass, NOW!!!!”. I thought about just doing it, more than I have ever considered it, mostly to shut her up, because it was both funny and irritating at the same time. I laughed it off and just kept fucking her with her legs up over my head.